Secrets of June 22. To be at war and to love in Russian and feminine way. Chapter XVII
Now, when the war again storms in Ukraine, when Donetsk waste heaps and mines again see a human grief and blood, when fascists trample down the earth of Donets Basin again, as well as 70 years ago, the women enter again in a system of defenders of the Fatherland. The female voluntary battalion «Rus» ruthlessly destroys the fascists of «Right Sector» and National guard, foreign mercenaries. They, the heroic daughters of Donetsk and Lugansk, have the persons to follow an example. It is impossible to win against such people …
The war has not woman’s face. It’s so. But what to do if there are no real men?
And the enemy comes? And it kills children, old men and mothers?
And then on the front there are they, fragile, lovely and beautiful. Women of the Southeast.
And Donetsk miners whom are thousands, all while decide — to be at war or not to be at war …
And the Kiev junta burns people in Odessa, beats from all tools across Slavyansk and Kramotorsk, bombs Lugansk, cuts out people in Saurovka and intentionally tries to destroy a memorial to the fallen fighters of the Great Patriotic War on Saur-Mogila.
And the leaders of the western states kindly exchange bows with the president Poroshenko, pretending that they know nothing about genocide on the earth of Donets Basin.
They diligently pretend that don’t notice the traces of blood remaining on their palms after handshakes with the Ukrainian politicians.
But the women enter the system of defenders of the Southeast. They took machine guns in hand. They won’t let the fascists enter the earth. And they have the persons to follow an example.
Many of about whom it is told below, wanted to love and become mothers. But didn’t live, and went to a better world, without having managed to fall in love. And survived told how they were at war and as loved the life.
The mother’s prayer saved the life
- Many days went … Once we left with girls at any station with a bucket that to take the water. We looked back and gasped: the trains followed one by one and there were only the girls. They Sang. They wave to us — who with the kerchiefs, who with the garrison caps. It became clear: men don’t suffice, they fell in the earth or in captivity. Now are we instead of them … Mother wrote me a prayer. I put it in a medallion. Perhaps also it helped — I came back home. I kissed a medallion before fight …
- Once the reconnaissance at night by the whole company was conducted on a site of our regiment. By the dawn it departed, and from a neutral strip the groan was heard. There was a wounded. «Don't go, they will kill — the fighters didn’t let me — you see, it is already the dawn». I didn’t obey and spread. I found the wounded, I dragged him eight hours, having bound a belt by a hand. I brought him the live. The commander got to know, gave five days of arrest for unauthorized absence in a temper. And the deputy commander of a regiment reacted in a different way: «She deserves an award». In nineteen years I had a medal «For Courage». In nineteen years I turned gray. In nineteen years in the last fight my both lungs were shot, the second bullet passed between two vertebras. It paralyzed the feet … And they thought I was killed … In nineteen years … I have such granddaughter now. I look at her and I don’t trust. She is the child!
To shoot at the person
- And when he appeared the third time, the same one moment — that will appear or disappear — I decided to shoot. I decided, and suddenly such thought flashed: he is the the person though he is an enemy, but the person, and the hands somehow started shivering, felt the shiver on all body, a fever went. Any fear … And now this feeling comes back to me sometimes in a dream … After plywood targets it was difficult to shoot at the live person.
I see him in a riflescope, well I see. As though he is close … And inside me something opposes … Something doesn’t give, I can’t decide. But I got it together, pressed a trigger … Not at once it turned out. It is not the women issue — to hate and kill. Not ours … It was necessary to convince myself. To persuade …
The coward won’t go to be at war
- And the girls were to the front voluntary, and the coward won’t go. to be at war It were the courageous, unusual girls. There is a statistics: losses among physicians of a first line took the second place after losses in rifle battalions. In infantry. What is, for example, to pull out the wounded from a battlefield? I will tell you now … We went in to the attack, and they shot us from a machine gun. And the battalion didn’t become. All lay. They weren’t killed all, it is a lot of wounded. Germans beat, the fire didn’t cease. Absolutely unexpectedly for all one girl, then the second, the third jumps out at first from a trench … They began to tie up and drag wounded, even Germans grew dumb for some time with amazement. By ten o’clock in the evening all girls were seriously injured, and everyone rescued at most two-three persons. They were awarded avariciously, at the beginning of war the awards weren’t scattered.
It was necessary to pull out the wounded together with his individual weapon. The first question in medical battalion: where is the weapon? At the beginning of war it didn’t suffice. The rifle, the machine gun, machine gun — it should be dragged too. In 1941 the order number two hundred eighty one on representation to rewarding for rescue of life of soldiers was issued: for fifteen seriously wounded who have been taken out from a battlefield together with an individual weapon — the medal «For Services in Battle», for rescue of twenty five people — an award of the Red Star, for rescue of forty — an award of the Red Banner, for rescue of eighty — the Order of Lenin were given. And I described what is to rescue in fight at least one … From under bullets …
- What was in our souls, such people that we were then, probably, never will be more. Never! Such naive and such sincere. With such belief! When the banner was received by our commander of a regiment and gave command: «Regiment, under a banner! On knees!», all of us felt the happy. We stand and cry, at each tears were in the eyes. You won’t believe now, my organism strained from this shock, my illness, and I ached with «night blindness», it happened from malnutrition, from nervous overfatigue and so, my night blindness passed. You understand, I was healthy the next day, I recovered, here through such shock of all soul …
- I was rejected to a brick wall with a storm wave. I fainted … When recovered, there was an evening. I raised the head, I tried to squeeze the fingers — it seems move, hardly I cleared the left eye and all went to office, all in blood. In a corridor I meet our elder staff nurse, she didn’t recognize me, asked: «Who are you? Where are you from?» She came closer, gasped and said: «Where you were absent so long, Ksenya? Wounded are hungry, and you are absent». Quickly tied up the head, the left hand above an elbow, and I went to receive a dinner. In eyes darkened, sweat flew a hail. I began to distribute a dinner and fell. Brought into consciousness, and only it is heard: «Rather! Quicker!» And again — «Rather! Quicker!» In some days I gave the blood for seriously wounded.
The father took away daughters in a military registration and enlistment office
- We went to the front absolutely young. Young girls. I even grew up for war. Mother measured me at home… I grew up on ten centimeters
- Organized courses of nurses, and the father took away us with the sister there. I was fifteen years, and the sister was fourteen. He spoke: «It is everything that I can give for a victory. My girls …» There was no other thought. In a year I got on the front …
- Our mother had no sons … And when Stalingrad was besieged, we totally voluntary went to the front. All the family: mother and five daughters, and the father already was at war by this time …
481 rescued wounded
- There were not enough form: always in blood. My first wounded was the senior lieutenant Belov, my last wounded was Sergey Petrovich Trofimov, the sergeant of a mortar platoon. In 1970 he came to me and I showed to daughters his wounded head, on which there is a big scar. In total I took out four hundred eighty one wounded from under fire. Someone from journalists counted: the whole rifle battalion …
We dragged the men and they are two-three times heavier than we are. And they are heavier when the wounded. You drag him and also his weapon, and still an overcoat, boots. You will charge yourself with eighty kilograms and drag. You will dump … There are the following, and again seventy-eighty kilograms … And so five-six times for one attack. And you are forty eight kilograms — ballet weight. Already it isn’t trusted …
We died for life, without knowing what is the life
- We masked. We sit. We wait for night after all to make attempt to break. And the lieutenant Mischa T., the battalion commander was wounded, and he carried out the duties of the battalion commander, he was twenty years old, began to remember how he liked to dance, play the guitar. Then he asks:
- Have you tried?
- What? What tried? — And there was a wish to eat terribly.
- Not what, but whom … Woman!
And before the war there were such cakes. With such name.
- No-o-o-o-o-o…
- And I didn’t try too. Here you will die and don’t learn what is the love … They will kill us at night …
- Go to Jericho, the fool! —I understood about what he told.
Died for life, without knowing what is the life. We read about everything in books only. I loved cinema about love …
Anti-aircraft gunner
- I tie up the tankman … The fight goes, a roar. He asks: «Girl, what is your name?» Even said any compliment. It was so strange to me to say in this roar, in this horror the name — Olya.
- And here I am the commander of the tool. And, so I would be sent in the one thousand three hundred fifty seventh antiaircraft regiment. At first there was a blood from a nose and ears, there was a full diarrhea… The throat dried up to vomiting … It wasn’t so terrible at night, but in the afternoon was very terrible. It seems that the plane directly flies on you, on your tool. Rams you! It is one instant … Now it will turn you in anything. In total — the end!
Tank family
- And while I was found, I strongly frozen the feet. Probably, the snow threw me, but I breathed, and the opening was formed in snow … Such tube … Sanitary dogs found me. Dug up the snow and brought my cap with ear-flaps. There I had a death passport, everyone had such passports: what are the native and where to report. I was dug out, put on a groundsheet, the short fur coat was full of blood … But nobody paid attention to my feet … Six months I lay in hospital. They wanted to amputate the feet, to amputate above a knee because gangrene began. And here I bit lost heart a little, didn’t want to remain to live the cripple. Why to live? To whom I am necessary? Neither father, nor mother. Burden in life. Well, to whom I am necessary, a stump! I will be strangled …
- In the same place we received the tank. Both of us were the senior mechanics-drivers, and in the tank there has to be only one mechanic-driver. Command decided to appoint me as the commander of the tank «IS-2» and the husband — the senior mechanic-driver. And so we reached Germany. Both were wounded. We have awards. There were many girls-tank women on average tanks, and I am the only on heavy one.
It is the frost and she is white-white, and the hair is gray-haired. And there are the letter and a child’s toy in a backpack.
- We were told to dress all military, and my height is one meter fifty centimeters. I got into trousers, and girls tied me above them.
- While he hears … Till the last moment you say to him that isn’t present, unless it is possible to die. You kiss him, embrace: what you, what you? He is already dead, eyes in a ceiling, and I whisper something else to him … I calm … Surnames were erased, left the memory, but the persons remained …
- Our nurse was taken prisoner … Every other day, when we beat off that village, dead horses, motorcycles, armored troop-carriers rolled everywhere. We found her: eyes are put out, the breast is cut off … She was put on a stake … It is the frost, and she is white-white, and hair is all gray-haired. She was nineteen years old. At we found the letters from the house and a rubber green birdie in a backpack. Child’s toy …
- Near Sevsk the Germans attacked us seven-eight times a day. And this day I took out the wounded with their weapon. I crept up to the last, and his hand is absolutely interrupted. Dangles on slices … On veins … He is in blood all … He needs to cut off urgently a hand in order to tie up. And I have neither knife, nor scissors. They dropped out somewhere from bag. What to do? And I gnawed this pulp with teeth. I gnawed through, I bandaged … I bandage, and the wounded said in a fever: «Quickly, sister. I still will do some fighting …"
- All war I was afraid that a foot didn’t cripple. I had beautiful feet. What to the man? It isn’t so terrible even if he will lose the feet. All the same he is the hero. Groom! And the woman will be crippled, so her destiny will be decided. Female destiny …
I took out the wounded before consciousness loss
- I was wounded under Makeyevka, in Donets Basin, wounded in a hip. I got here such fragment as the pebble, sits. I feel the blood, put a first-aid kit there. I run further, tie up. It is a shame to tell whom, wounded the little girl and where — in a buttock. In a bottom … In sixteen years it is a shame to tell it to somebody. It is inconvenient to admit. Well, and so I ran, tied up, didn’t faint from blood loss. Full boots accumulated …
We didn’t know about heart attacks, they reminded of themselves after the war
- The doctor arrived, made the cardiogram and asked me:
- When did you have a heart attack?
- What heart attack?
- You have all heart in hems.
And these hems are from war, it is visible. You come over the purpose, all shakes. All body becomes covered by a shiver, because there is a fire below: fighters shoot, antiaircraft guns shoot … We flied generally at night. Any time we were tried to send to tasks in the afternoon, but right refused this invention. Our «Po-2» were hit from the machine gun … Did to twelve departures in a night. I saw the well-known pilot expert Pokryshkin when he arrived from fighting flight. It was the strong man, he was not twenty years and not twenty three as we: while the plane filled, the technician managed to take off a shirt from him and to unscrew. It is flew from him as though he was in the rain. Now you can easily imagine what was with us. You will arrive and can’t even leave a cabin, we were pulled out. We couldn’t bear already a tablet, pulled on the ground.
Women have to be at war better than men
- We aspired … We didn’t want that it would be spoken about us: «Ah, these women!» Also tried more, than men, we still had to prove that isn’t worse than men. And there was a haughty, indulgent relation to us long: «Will do the war these women …"
- Three times wounded and three times contused. In the war who dreamt of what: who dreamt to come back home, who to reach Berlin, and I dreamt about one thought — to live up to birthday that I would be eighteen years old. For some reason it was terrible to me to die earlier, not to live even up to eighteen. I walked in trousers, in the garrison cap, always torn off because always creep on knees moreover under weight of the wounded. It wasn’t believed that it will be sometime possible to rise and go on the ground, instead of to creep. It was a dream! The commander of a division arrived somehow, saw me and asks: «What is the teenager? What do you hold her? She should be sent to study».
- We were happy when got a kettle of water to wash up the head. If long went, looked for a soft grass. Tore it and feet … Well, you understand, washed away by a grass … We had the features, girls … The army didn’t think of it … We had green feet … It is good if the foreman was the elderly person and all understood, didn’t take away excess linen, but if young, surely throws out the superfluous from a holdall. And what it superfluous for girls to whom it is necessary happens to change clothes twice a day. We tore off sleeves from undershirts, and them after all only two. These are only four sleeves …
Commander of a platoon
- At last I was given the assignment. Led me to my platoon … Soldiers look: who with a sneer who with the evil even and another so distorted the shoulders that everything was clear at once. When the commander of a battalion presented that there is a new commander of a platoon, all howled at once: «U-u-u-u …» One even spitted out: «Fie!» And in a year when I was handed over an award of the Red Star, the same guys who survived, bore me on hands in my dugout. They were proud of me.
- By the accelerated march we came to a task. Weather was warm, we went with light baggage. When began to pass positions of the gunners-truckers, suddenly one jumped out of a trench and cried: «Air! Frame!» I raised the head and looked for «frame» in the sky. I don’t find any plane. It was silent around, no sound. Where is that «frame»? Here one of my sappers asked for permission to fail. He went to that gunner and gave a slap in the face. I didn’t manage to think something as the gunner cried: «Guys, they beat ours!» Other gunners jumped out from a trench and also surrounded our sapper. My platoon, without thinking twice, abandoned probes, mine detectors, holdalls and rushed to it on revenue. A fight was started. I couldn’t understand, what happened? Why the platoon was got involved in a fight? Every minute was on the account and here such turmoil. I give command: «The platoon, fall in!» Nobody pays attention to me. Then I snatched out the gun and shot at air. Officers jumped out of blindage. While all calmed down, considerable time passed. The captain approached to my platoon and asked: «Who is senior here?» I reported. He rounded the eyes, he even became puzzled. Then he asked: «What occurred here?» I couldn’t answer as actually I didn’t know the reason. Then my platoon leader commander assistant told how everything was. So I got to know what is «frame», that this is offensive word for the woman. Something like the whore. Front curse …
Unfulfilled great love
- We buried him … He lay on a groundsheet, he was just killed. Germans fire at us. It is necessary to bury quickly … Right now … We found old birches, chose that which at some distance from an old oak stood. The biggest one. Near it … I tried to remember to return and find then this place. Here the village comes to an end, here a fork … But how to remember? How to remember if one birch already burns before our eyes … How? Began to say goodbye … They spoke to me: «You are the first!» The heart jumped up, I understood … That … Everyone, it appears, knew of my love. All knew … The thought struck: may be he knew too? Here … He lies … Now he would be lower to the earth … Would be buried and covered with sand … But I terribly was delighted to this thought that, maybe, he knew too. And suddenly I was pleasant to it? As though he is live and will answer me something now …
I remembered how he presented to me the German chocolate on the New Year. I didn’t eat it for the month, carried in a pocket. Now it doesn’t reach me, I remember all life … This moment … Bombs fly … He… Lies on a groundsheet … This moment … And I rejoice … I stand and about smile. Foolish. I rejoice that he, maybe, knew about my love … I approached and kissed him. Never before I kissed the man … It was the first …
Female force
- Feet were gone … Feet were cut off … Rescued me in the same place, in the wood … Operation was in the most primitive conditions. Put on a table to operate, and even there was no iodine, a simple saw sawed the feet, both feet … Put on a table, and there is no iodine. For six kilometers to other guerrilla group went behind iodine, and I lie on a table. Without anesthesia. Without … The self-race bottle instead of an anesthesia.
Was nothing, except a usual saw … Joiner’s … There was the surgeon, he was very tired too, he spoke about me, these are other doctors told: «I admire her. I so many men operated, but didn’t see such. Won’t scream». I kept … I got used to be strong in public…
Mummy, we have a cat. We have the real house now…
- The husband was the senior driver and I’m the driver. Four years we were in teplushka and the son with us. He even didn’t see a cat for all war.
When he caught a cat near Kiev, our structure terribly bombed, flew five planes, and he embraced her: «Lovely cat, I am so glad that I saw you. I don’t see anybody, well, sit with me. Let I will kiss you». Child … The child has to have everything children’s… He fell asleep with words: «Mummy, we have a cat. We have the real house now».
Contrary to medicine laws
- Anya Kaburova lies on a grass … Our operator. She dies — the bullet got to heart. At this time the wedge of cranes flies by over us. All raised the heads to the sky, and she opened the eyes. She looked: «What a pity, girls». Then she kept silent and smiled to us: «Girls, will I really die?» Our mail carrier, our Klava runs at this time, she shouts: «Don't die! Don’t die! To you the letter from the house …» Anya doesn’t close an eye, she waits … Our Klava sat down near her, unpacked an envelope. The letter from mother: «My dear, beloved daughter …"
Near me there is a doctor, he speaks: «It is a miracle. Miracle! She lives contrary to all laws of medicine» Read up the letter … And only then Anya closed the eyes …
I went on reconnaissance with the husband
- I stayed with him one day, another and solved: «Go to a staff and report. I will remain here with you». He went to the administration, and I don’t breathe: well, they will tell that I will leave at twenty four o’clock? It is the front, it is clear. And suddenly I see — there is an administration goes to a dugout: major, colonel. All shake hands. Then, of course, we sat in a dugout, drank, and everyone told the word that the wife found the husband in a trench, same the real wife, there are the documents.
Such a woman! Let’s look at such woman! They told such words, all of them cried. I remember that evening for all life … What I still remained? I was enlisted as the nurse. I went on reconnaissance with him. Beats a mortar, I see — he fell. I think: killed or wounded? I run there, and the mortar beats, and the commander shouts: «Where do you go, the devil’s woman!» I will creep up — live … Live!
The daughter, I gathered a small knot to you. Leave …
- I reached Berlin with army … I returned to the village with two awards of Glory and medals.
I lived three days, and on the fourth mother rouses me and speaks: «The daughter, I gathered a small knot to you. Leave … Leave … There are two younger sisters grow. Who will marry them? All know that you were at the front four years, with men … Don’t touch my soul. Write, as others, about my awards …
Heart is one, both for own and for enemies
- Near Stalingrad … I drag two wounded. I will drag one, then leave, then — another. And so I pull them in turn because they are very heavy wounded, it is impossible to leave them, how it is simpler to explain, the feet are beaten highly off, they bleed profusely. Here every minute is valued. And suddenly, when I crawled away far away from fight, a smoke became less, suddenly I find out that I drag one our tankman and one German … I was horrified: there ours perish, and I rescue the German. I was in a panic … There, in a smoke, I didn’t understand … I see: the person dies, the person shouts … A-a-a … Both of them scorched, black. Identical.
And here I made out: other medallion, other watch, all others. This damned form. And what to do now? I pull our wounded and think: «" come back for the German or not?» I understood that if I will leave him, he will die soon. From blood loss … And I spread behind him. I continued to drag both of them … Same Stalingrad … The most terrible fights. Very best. There can’t be one heart for hatred, and the second — for love. The person has it one.
She refused disability to become darling
- My friend … I won’t call her surname, suddenly will take offense … Infirm-major … Sje is three times wounded. War came to an end, she entered the medical institute. She didn’t find anybody from natives, all were lost. Terribly lived in misery, washed entrances at night in order to live. But admitted to nobody that she is the disabled veteran and has the privileges, she tore all documents.
I ask: «Why did you tear?» She cries: «Who would marry me?» — «Well, I say, you made correctly». She cries even more loudly: «These pieces of paper would be useful now to me. I have a serious illness». Can you imagine? She cries.
I rose the first from an entrenchment
- First medal «For Courage» … Fight was started. Heavy fire. Soldiers lay down. There was the command: «Forward! For the Homeland!» and they lie. Again the command, they again lie. I took off a cap that saw: the girl rose … All of them got up, and we went to fight»
And how they are similar at each other, beautiful heroic women of the Great Patriotic War and the defender of the Southeast … Perhaps women should be at war when the men are bad at war?
Viewed : 2505 Commented: 2
Author: Stepan Bulbenko, Odessa-Slavyansk
Publication date : 01 July 2014 01:00
Source: The world and we
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